Tuesday, September 29, 2009

fantasy football league...

i wanted to come up with a list of cats i've worked with that have helped me through the years as a dispatcher. i kept thinking how could i do that and still make a post somewhat interesting. after much consideration for different types of lists i've decided to bring together the world of messengers and my love for football...american football. yes, those of you who could care less can now stop reading...ha!

in case you cats don't know what a fantasy league is check out the wikipedia for it. there are a few positions i have to draft for and i thought long and hard about who could fill those gaps to give me the best team possible. here are the positions i need...

2 running back(rb)
2 wide receivers(wr)
1 flex player(rb/wr)
1 tight end(te)
1 kicker(k)
1 defense(d)

along with these starters you're giving the opportunity to draft about 8 more guys to sit on your bench for the occasional bye weeks, injuries, sickness, and whatnot. ok...if you haven't followed what im doing...sorry? here we go...

at qb im gonna go with chris who worked with me at standard. why? cause the qb needs to have a level head. he's the type of cat that you can trust 100% from beginning to end. he was always at work and never b*tched. i knew i could count on him to send in when we needed to smooth things over with clients. when we were working with processing legal documents he knew the drill forwards and backwards. he also knew that at times...i had to dish work out to other cats and keep him on stand-by. he wasn't the type to hog up the limelight but could definitely be one that could. he was definitely a team player...always willing to help to just get the job done and worry about the paycheck later.

at wr...this one was a no brainer. wr's need to be fast with good hands. for my first pick im going with sam from standard. he took off to ohio or some sh*t but he was definitely the fastest man i have ever had the pleasure of dispatching. i don't know how he did it but he did. not only that...he might have b*tched to his fellow messengers but, not once, did he b*tch at me about the madness out there. i knew if something needed to be done in five minutes or less...sam was the go to guy...most times, it didn't even matter where he was. for my 2nd wr im taking phil(6706)...why? he gives sam a run for his money. definitely a fast man but i would take him as more of a slot receiver. you know...someone who just ran great routes and got the job done. he always seemed to be at the right place at the right time. i could dish him a heavy load...no problem. i could dish him some distance...no problem. short runs...no problem.

at rb...you need power and speed with a touch of finesse. im going with aaron from standard. i guess his game wasn't really power but the man can flow through traffic. he's fast and dependable. weaving in and out of traffic without being seen or touched. the man is just able to blaze through some of the worst conditions without hesitation. again...he's a man i trust very much. sh*t! even when he got hit with cancer he was still out there rocking. thats the type of rb you want on your team...ha! for my 2nd pick im going with jerry(6721)...what can i say...the man isn't the fastest but he rolls through quickly and efficiently. he's dependable as h*ll. he's more of a play action rb...why? cause im usually stuck dumping packages off to him. lets take yesterday for instance...im stuck on the car board and needed some help. i let scott know i was taking twenty-one and asked him if he could help me. without hesitation the man says yes and i quickly load him up with heavy boxes that he gets rid of in no time. then i give him distance work that he has no problem rocking. see...you want a rb like that...one that can help you out of a jam when your qb is about to get sacked...ha! he makes something out of nothing.

at te...this one is a bit hard. te's need to be good blockers as well as good route runners. im gonna go with kirby(1141). he's more of a slow and methodical rider but a great one. i mainly picked him for his size...ha! the man is huge and could probably play real football if he wanted to. naw...he's always one of our better riders. i can dump work on him similar to 6721 but i can also depend on him to run great routes. i'll dish him work in between his daily's and i know it'll get done. i don't have to think about it. just give him the work and wait for him to say..."clean".

at k...well, the kicker always gets made fun of. they say they are a dime a dozen. i think thats ridiculous. you need someone who will be consistent, consistent, consistent. not matter the weather or the time of day...why? cause sometimes the game is on the line and the pressure falls on the kicker. sooo...who do i pick? im gonna go with turtle from standard. you don't get more consistent than turtle. he was/is the fastest slowest messenger around but he always manages to get the job done. i don't know how he made money but by the end of the day he usually had the most runs...how? well, every messengers has their tricks to the trade and turtle has been out there long enough. his secrets will stay his secrets...ha!

at defense...this one is hard. why? cause in the messenger field you're constantly playing offense. at least that's what i used to think. i can't believe im even considering him because the man can be a bit annoying at times...ha! im going with kyle(1168). it never fails...he's there every night with me and the other dispatcher cleaning up messes left by other messengers or making pulls before companies close to get to our drivers or for him to make deliveries. he might be a bit much at times but i would sorely miss him if he wasn't on the team. he definitely plays defense for us late in the day on a constant basis.


im not gonna run through all the guys for the bench one by one. i'll just call them out. the bench should be just as strong as your starters. you need fast guys. dependable guys. power guys. and so on...

qb...damara from standard. definitely not selfish and always a team player.
wr...andrew from standard. fast.fast.fast.
wr...obie-wan(forgot your number kid). again, fast and a great route runner.
rb...margot(6717). fast and a great route runner. elusive if you will...ha!
rb...craig(6731). fast and i know i could dump work on him when needed.
te...aaron(6674?). i could dump stuff off on him and knew the work would get done.
k...mumbles from standard. talk about consistent. always the same person every day.
d...wendell(1117). same as 1168. he's one of our go-to guys late in the day.

well...there you have it folks. please, please, please...don't take this list too serious. it's for fun and games. just throwing some love to cats i've had the pleasure of dispatching through the years. i got nothing but love for any and all my heads...well, not all...ha! who knows...maybe next year some other cats can make my team...dun.dun.dun(ha!). well...this has been sorta fun...it's getting cold and rainy out...ride safe kids...peace.


B said...

"k...mumbles from standard. talk about consistent. always the same person every day."

are you talking about the mumbling keanu reeves?

j.dot said...

yup...thats "the one"! ha! get it?! "the one"?! anywhoo...the man is a good rider...peace.